Unfinished

I was checking on my blogsite and I found myself thinking that it seems so I don't know... a bad haircut? Unfinished or crooked? I tried editing it and was at it for a while and was on the verge of starting to pull out my hair in frustration then I realized I still have the next day and then the next day to work on this. Oh and I was thinking of Shithead too... :)

I found that I could consider that it is not complete or I could look at it as not completed satisfactorily. I decided that it's not satisfactory... yet. That gives me allowance for change and improvement, for growth. There are things that will remain constant but if you stop growing, you become stagnant. You become obsolete.

Reassesing my life? Reassesed constantly to find a better me in the process. There are times that I find myself running and sometimes it's ok. We all need to get away from time to time and then sometimes the choice is to run away or destroy that factor that kept you from growing. And I'm not really into destroying people nor killing them so I simply run away or walk away from them. If they change, then good. I'm happy for them and hope that when we cross path, I don't get the urge to run from them. :)

Staying? Waiting? Changing? Then Changing again? A little bit of Running? All part of MY BLOG. Unfinished - Not completed to my satisfaction. :)

Silence

I dreamed that I was in a new apartment. Two floors with 1 bedroom (or 2 bedrooms), TB, Kitchen and a sala. Then I dreamed of my "margarita". Perfect...

I woke up late but I woke up to a quiet and empty space. At least empty of those that irritates the hell out of me. I know it's evil and detestable to be so happy in the absence of relations. They're blood and all but I can only stand one of them but not enough to not think of moving out. In the silence of our apartment, I could not even think of them. To do so would be to break the peace in my mind. So I rushed to the bathroom and do what I consider as a quick wash then quickly prepared myself for work. I was on a cab and already on my way to work 30 minutes before my time. So perfect...

In the cab, it was even more so. The cab was brand new and unlike most cab drivers, this one didn't try to engage me in a conversation! It was completely quiet all the way to work. Except for Magic on the radio (announcing a winner of the Christina Aguillera concert tickets), there was just me and me. It was wonderful.

Silence begets silence? Sometimes. But other times, it doesn't that you think you're really very rambunctious even if all you did was sneeze! Be thankful for the gift of silence and I am.

"He who knows does not talk; he who talks does not know. " --Anonymous

Undone

The World started in Chaos or out of it! It seems like the same can be said today.

I woke to a bustling household! Before I went to sleep that night before, there were me and just my 2 siblings. Can you imagine what kind of a wake-up call it is to hear someone exclaimed out loud "Asan ang REF?!". It was a nightmare that I woke up. It was my Mother and Company. Ofcourse, I have no other recourse but to explain even though half of my brain cells are still on sleep mode and my voice is still channeling Toni Braxton after a heavy partying the night before! And you think after the explanation, I'd actually have the presence of mind to run as quick and as far as I can? Nope, brain cells are still on sleep mode!

After getting past the part where the Ref went up in flames and the worthless/several theories to what could have caused it and what should be done to prevent it from happening again, the household went on to rattle the peaceful psyche I usually wake up to on a Monday. I never really like crowds. And in a tight space like ours, it's amazing I held my temper!

I want peace and sometimes FATE just decides that you don't deserve it! I work and work to create the ideal space for myself, even if just with the state of my mind, but circumstances just won't work with you. Sometimes runnning away is so tempting that I can almost imagine my Nike 4.0 flying and with me wearing them!

I am done! Done! I am going and I'm gone!